Posts
I like the the Millennial generation. Mostly, because I'm part of it. Oh, wait? Did that sound conceited? Sorry, let me rephrase that: I like being a part of my generation. After all, Being a Millennial has its perks. Notably, that we're called freaking Millennials! Like we're some kind of ancient alien race that will duke it out with the Avengers.
We'd lose horribly, of course. But, I think it'd be an honor to be taken out by a Hulk smash. And, if by some miracle we happen to be victorious, a greater enemy still lurks in the corners. This enemy is not to be trifled with. They are masters of deception and manipulation. Your life is but a puppet animated by their strings. The perspective on life you have has been molded by them. Not all of us have encountered them. But, there are those among us who have.
I speak, of course, about helicopter parents.
Not this kind. |
1) They are embarrassed by their children's failures and will do anything to tuck the situation under a rug.
2) They do their child's homework. (Not as great as it sounds.)
3) They hover over their child's social circle like a dog that just discovered a good fire hydrant.
4) Their children deserve love only when they are successful.
5) They fight their child's battles.
6) They fear for their child's well-being so much that they won't allow them to take any risks.
Let's be clear here. They're not the monsters I portray them to be. They just have a different set of ideals for their children. Yet, therein lies a very big problem. These parents' ideals drive their kids towards becoming this meme:
"That's a great finger you have their, sir! I hope it finds its way to many vaginas!"
The offspring of helicopter parents become sheltered. And, being sheltered sucks. To sum it up nice and sweet, life is a bitch for most people. To sheltered kids, life is a bitch with PMS. Imagine the distraught on an elementary teacher's face when they find out one of their students still can't tie their shoes. It's not that the kid is stupid. It's that his or her parents have been tying their shoes for them. And, they will continue doing this (metaphorically, at least) as the child grows older. As a result? The child develops slower than peers. It becomes difficult to form friends or handle stressful situations, or to really do anything on their own. What's worse, bullies seek these kids out like there's free bacon to be had.
"I smell some bacon in need of bullying."
Since the kid can't yet handle stress, imagine what must be going through their head during their first wedgie. They're not inclined to fight back. They're looking for mommy and daddy to take care of the problem for them. But, mommy and daddy want to ignore the problem. (See item 1 in stained undies list). And, the bullying keeps going. Eventually, their mind is berated by the constant abuse, and a host of psychological problems comes knocking.
"Your tea should have steam
sans depression and low self-esteem."
- A Host of Psychological Problems
Adolescence is especially rough. To helicopter parents, their child is stuck in a jungle, and life is a Predator. They are the chopper. And their child needs to 'get to da chopper' rather than explore what the jungle has to offer. Ridiculous curfews, limited social interaction, and quiet desperation plague adolescents succumb to the whims of their helicopter parents.
All this amounts to the kid failing at adult life. Going to college and being away from parents is a tough adjustment. They have a hard time socializing and balancing academic pursuits. Many flunk. And then there is the workplace. Like before, it ain't pretty for them. They haven't developed the necessary skills to survive, let alone thrive in it.
They don't even get to be in the picture.
What makes this all a Millennial issue? For starters, the term is relatively new. It was coined in 1990 by Jim Fay, a professional consultant in parenting. 1990 happens to fall within the range of birth years for us Millennials. (1980-1995). So, Millennials are the first generation to have parents described as helicopters. (That actually sounds pretty rad.) Also, parents are far more involved in their children's lives than in the past. My theory is that since college is considered such a necessity now, so many parents believe their child will not succeed unless they get to college. Some parents will do anything it takes to get their children there. These are the types that turn into helicopters.
"Kids, your mom just turned into a helicopter. How's about we take a family photo?!"
Because of this, it's hard to place blame on them. They merely want their child to succeed. It's just, they need to back off a little. Parental involvement can be good. Children with the right amount of parental involvement end up with better grades and fewer behavioral problems. And, they're also less likely to get bullied!
"I smell some bacon in need of...you know what? This one might actually be just jerky."
Those of you reading this that have experienced this firsthand, the following is for you.
Sometimes, you just have to get away from the chopper and face the Predator. Keep in mind, the chopper isn't their to hurt you. It is designed to help you. If the Predator is too tough for you, by all means do fall back to the chopper to recuperate. But, don't let it fight the Predator for you. Just keep tackling the Predator till you get a good grip on it. You will be a better person because of it.*
* \m/ *
____________________________________________________________________________
*Disclaimer: This author is not liable for any bodily injury or death due to the tackling of an actual Predator.
