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| Image Credit: Examiner.com |
In any case, it's hard to believe it's not a femur,
correct? It's just plain and unassuming, and if it is a rock, then the
resemblance to a human bone is uncanny. But get this. That picture is from the
Curiosity rover. And guess where that thing is right now?
Not
Earth.
After reading NASA's opinion on it, I feel like
they want to let go of this thing faster than you do Ted, who you realize might
have the world's strongest grip and is starting to crush your ankle. You start
to shake him off but that bastard just won't let go.
Meanwhile, NASA's claiming that the femur is not a femur. It's just a rock shaped that
way after years of erosion tore away at it and left it nothing but a crooked,
malformed husk of what it used to be.
"Like my wife did to me! I can relate to science. Yay!"
They further slash our hopes by saying Mars likely
never had enough oxygen to support life big enough to have a femur that large.
It's a cold, dry, ball. Just like Bill O'Reilly's left nut. (And, possibly
right.)
For those wondering why the cosmos decreed Mars to
be a desolate wasteland, its atmosphere was torn apart by a series of asteroid impacts eons ago. The heat from the
explosion disrupted the planet's nucleus and weakened its gravity. It also
kicked a lot of Mars itself into space. Mars, being small, already had a weak
gravity. Beyond that, the asteroids hitting it were big. I mean BIG. Remember
that one asteroid that hit the Yucatan peninsula and wiped out Littlefoot and
the rest of the dinos from The Land Before Time? Some asteroids were even bigger.
After the cataclysmic collisions, Mars' gravity was unable to hold onto its
atmosphere. It bled, and there was nothing it could do about it.
But, it did have an atmosphere. And, even if NASA
is claiming there wasn't enough oxygen to support complex life of the large
femur variety, in my hands I hold an article that might just be a bitch slap to
NASA's argument. It claims that O2 (not to be confused with U2) is not necessary for...get this...complex
life.
I have to admit, I am a bit skeptical. The
researchers in the article base their study on a sea sponge, which doesn't
exactly conjure the finesse and intellect that the title 'complex life'
alludes.
"I'll have you know, good sir, I graduated summa cum laude in
astrophysics."
However, all it takes for an organism to be
considered complex is to have specialized tissues. And, sea sponges have them,
apparently. Being that it is a complex organism, standard convention dictates
it requires plenty of oxygen to live. Yet, deep in the recesses of Denmark's
icy fjords, sponges were uncovered that were living with only a measly fraction
of the fart-scented air you're about to breath in.
The sponges, possibly upset about being forcibly
removed from their homes, were then taken to a lab and experimented on.
Because, they're just sponges and no one really cares if they're upset. Testing
revealed that they could still survive when the oxygen dropped as low as 0.5%.
For reference, normal air contains 21%.
Right now, Mars only has 0.13% oxygen. It's not enough even for the
elite sponges. So, the chances of present life are pretty slim. Past life,
though, is another story. Mars would have had a much higher oxygen
concentration before losing its atmosphere. So long as the amount was higher than
0.5%, some forms of complex life could have developed. And they'd be dropping
femurs all over the place.
So, is NASA covering this up? Are they
testing the object to determine if it is from a living source? I haven't the
answers to that. I do know that NASA has done plenty of cover ups before. Take
the Black Knight Satellite, for instance.
If you think it looks like a Decepticon's toenail,
you are an awesome person.
In 1960, the US discovered a satellite
in polar-orbit. Neither they, nor the USSR (the greatest powers at the time)
were capable of launching anything into that type of orbit. Nor could they
construct anything as large as the Black Knight, which was several times larger
than any of their satellites. What's freaky is that it was giving off messages
that when decoded revealed a star chart as it would appear from Earth 13,000
years ago. Meaning, the thing is 13,000
years old.
You'd be hard pressed to find any
official reports on what exactly that thing is. It was a mystery then, and is a
mystery now. Whoever has the answers (*cough...NASA...*cough) isn't coming
forward with them. That means one of two possibilities. (1) The Black Knight
actually is an alien craft, or (2) no one still has any clue. I imagine that
since people have had 50 years since the 60's to study the thing, surely
someone has a lead.
But, I digress. Unfortunately, you
haven't been able to shake off Ted. You did, however, find the strength to pull
the both of you back up over the cliff. Congratulations on surviving. Now run
for your life, because Ted's mad and hungry. And all your Snickers fell off the
edge.
Axel Fretson
* \m/ *
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